It Has Been Awhile....

It has been awhile since I have sat down to write anything for that matter......Like I should be working on an essay right at this moment, but I am content with going and reading things I have not taken the time or effort to read.
This weekend I went to a retreat, I guess past weekend, and my Father God showed up and spoke to us loud and clear. He is that little nudge you feel when you are thinking about doing something, he is that voice that cries out to us when we need to hear him, and he is the warmth of loving caring caring arms when we need to cry or crawl into them and feel safe.
My heart is in the process of healing, healing from losing too many people in my life that I have loved dearly, healing from the wrongs that I have done and need to right, and healing because I have finally let my heavenly father in and letting him love me.
God has given me so many blessings and this weekend he made it very clear to me how truly blessed we are or I am. So, many women told of the man who has left them, or told how they were thinking of leaving their marriage because of some unhappiness that they just can't seem to get over.
In those stories I felt the hurt, heartache, shame, guilt, hate, love, etc. I felt for each woman's story. I see clearly how a marriage is meant to cherish. There are many times that I may not feel totally loved or accepted by my hubby, but there are many more times I do. I find if I focus on the bad, then everything turns ugly, but if I focus on the good, then everything seems somehow miracously beautiful. I am not saying relationships are simple, they are not, but what I am saying is "focus on the good to make things better, focusing on the bad makes things so much worse." My choice is on the good.
I have a good husband who loves me, and who has stood beside me through many a rough times, and I am pretty certain more will come, but I know in my heart that with my Gods help nothing will be able to destroy us, unless I give in and give permission to let the worst happen.
As for right now, I am happily married. Tuckered out from a long day of putting off writing an essay, and getting ready to start it this late, but I am content. I am happy and thankful, that God has seen fit to give me a man who is capable of fixing anything, including my broken heart, and blessing me with four of the best young women and gentleman that you will ever meet. God is not just good, he is great.
Thank You Lord for my Blessings today!
I am happily blessed with knowing that my husband and children know Jesus, and will live for him. Then when he calls each one of us home to heaven, we will always be together in the family of God, rejoicing and loving each other.
Now, to keep doing just that on this earth until he comes, or calls us home.
If you ever have the time, listen to some of Joyce Meyers TV shows, you can watch them also online. I just google her and pick and listen to her shows as I work at laundry or whatever back here. She is most inspiring.
Well, here I go to actually start my essay.
God Bless!

Happy

It pays to wake up happy
It pays to try to be happy
It pays to try and think positive thoughts and let the negitive thoughts fall away like water rolling off a ducks back.
God wants us to be happy, love, and live life to the fullest that he offers us, because that is what he wants for us.
The Devil wants us to dwell in self pity and the negative, making feelings of anger, hate and frustration, because that is his goal for us.
I have been practising, when negativity rolls around, I try to think of something that makes me happy, or has made me happy, like holding each of my babies for the first time. Or some of the interesting hikes we took when we first met.
It changes my bad thoughts to good thoughts and then my whole outlook is better, and even the kids appear to be getting along better when I am happier.
Joy is the Goal!

Sick

I haven't written much, under just me.
I have been down and out with this flu or cold whatever it is. It has been a good week of feeling really awfull. There are times I don't have the energy to think straight, it is most frustrating to feel so weak and useless. Yet, I hear God speaking loudly to me, as I do sit and read his word and do rest. I just have to get over the guilt of doing nothing. I don't know why I don't feel good unless I manage to do something productive during the day. I guess that is in all of us. All I want is to feel better, yet each day seems to be a battle, and the battle hits hard at night, when all I do is try to sleep and have to cough every few seconds. It is very exhausting. I hope that today will be better and the beginning of a full recovery. Getting to worn out to want to do anything.
I have taken the time to listen to some of my favorite hymns this morning and I am enjoying that very much so. I hate missing church, but I did sort of have my own time with God this morning, so that is good.

This is Me

Just a place to journal, and think. Thinking that a nap before work would be great! Thinking not gonna get a long one in now! :(
Also, thinking how blessed and thankful I am for my family, and how I miss them when away, or working evenings!